" Even if we’re married for 23 years,
I still want you to flirt with me. "
" How weird it is to think I used to not know of your existence. I somehow lived my life without ever knowing you were a person. Once we met though, god I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since. It’s hard to imagine I used to be able to live my life without you consuming my head with thoughts. "
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maliciousmelons:

They say whoever smelt it dealt it so technically this weed is yours officer

(via labadoozy)

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ruinedchildhood:

me as a teacher

(via labadoozy)

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my aunt came home from vacation and told me this story

indigoswankster:

defekait:

my aunt went to cape cod with her husband and brother and they went to the beach and she was flying a kite when this guy came up to her and said “ooh whatre you doing with that kite?” and being the sassy bitch my aunt is, said “im air fishing" without looking at him so he just says "…ok" and walks away and she looked over and her husband and brother were cracking up and it turns out she dissed justin timberlake

image

(via labadoozy)

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©